A Personal Wilderness

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I’m at a bit of a loss to understand exactly what God is doing in my life right now.  I feel as if the pathway has suddenly taken another dramatic turn.

With the death of my mom, I feel the urgency of God’s call.

And I wonder how and if God can use any of this call in your life.  It’s vital for mine. But, is it one I can share?

I read in Pursue the Intentional Life:

"Lord, whatever my age or condition, produce Your fruit in and through me.  Weakness is not an excuse or a disqualification  Express Yourself in and through me; grow Your fruit in me.”

And that about sums it up.

I don’t know how God is going to do this.

Yet, I do sense He is at work.

So many things are falling across my path.  I can’t ignore them.  

Yet, I find myself walking this path pretty much alone, tromping through a personal wilderness with few signposts along the way.

The ones I do see just point in general directions.

No specifics.

I ask so many questions.

What kind of fruit, Lord?

How will it evidence itself?

How will I know I am doing the right thing?

All I hear right now is,

“Just stay connected with me.  Learn to abide in me.  Make your home in me.”

This is so moment-by-moment.  Not running ahead.  Not seeing the path.  Only searching out the next step.

I’ve far more questions than answers.

I’m realizing my health doesn’t matter.

Odd to be saying that.

It’s the connection that matters.

And it will work itself out as it should, if I only stay the course with God at the helm.

I’m letting go of so much more than I ever dreamed I would.

I’m beginning to understand that, ultimately, one needs to give up everything.

In order to gain it all.

Be blessed, dear reader.  Abide in Him.

Philippians 3:8

More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ,

Digital image by Victor Habbick



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