Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda


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Then they sat seven days and seven nights with no one speaking a word to him, for they saw that his pain was very great. Job 2:13

Do you know what I like least about facing my challenges?

Feeling I am not heard.

Sometimes, when I go just to talk to others I am barraged by words that discourage me.

"You know, you really should try ....." (Fill in the blank.)

"Well, if I were you I would ...."

"If you really wanted to you could ...."

I call those conversation stoppers.  Yes, the people may feel they are well meaning, but sometimes I don't want answers or solutions.  I just want to be heard.  I want my feelings to be accepted for what they are.

Sometimes, I just want someone to sit next to me and listen.  No judgments, no solutions, no chastising me for the way I feel.

Last night I helped create a family situation that went bad quickly.  I wanted someone to listen.  I felt guilty.  I had gotten overly angry and dealt with an issue at the wrong time.

I needed to talk to someone.  Yet, most everyone I talked to told me I "shouldn't" feel bad.  

Problem is I did.  

And I still do.

I know that taking our problems to God is something we need to do.  God is the one who will listen.  I guess I'd just like to challenge people to stop trying to fix others and simply listen to what is being said.

When we are in pain - we need to be heard.

When we are scared - we need to be heard.

When we are sad - we need to be heard.

Often, that is the beginning of healing.

Dealing with a chronic illness can breed many feelings that are difficult to understand - and difficult to express.  And feelings that need to be heard.

Father God, I pray for each reader that runs into "coulda, woulda, shoulda" will be able to understand the intent of others to try to help.  And I pray that we, ourselves, would be sensitive to the needs of others and truly listen to them as we would like to be listened to.  Amen and amen.

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(Post was originally published in January of 2012.)

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