“Critically” Ill - (Spiritually)

grumpy child.jpg

I guess that the concept of ‘seeing’ has a lot to do with our life with Christ.

I know I want people to see Jesus in me.  I want them to know that I am different because of Him.

On the flip side, I need to remember to see others as Jesus sees them.

That’s not always easy for me.

I can be such a critical person. My expectations of others can be so high.  I feel upset when they “fail” me or let me down. I get disappointed easily.

I’ve been critical of my home church for not caring for the chronically ill the way I think they should.  

My expectations for my doctors is high and I get frustrated when I walk away with no answers - critical words coming out of my mouth.

I could easily see myself becoming a demanding, critical old woman.  I so don’t want that.

I’m becoming more aware of those times.  It’s easy for me to speak harshly - especially when I am feeling poorly.  

Let’s just say that I don’t suffer in silence.

But, this is not who I want to be.  I don’t want others to see me in that light.   And a huge part of that lies within the way I view others.

Do I have a servant’s heart?

Or would I rather be the master.

This is a question that gives me pause.  

I know it’s challenging for me to find opportunities to serve in my current health state.  

Yet, I read a question in a sermon from Bruce Gottsche yesterday that is sticking with me today:

“Are we speaking, acting, and desiring to truly help and strengthen others by our words and actions?”

Am I developing the heart of Jesus in me?

It can be so difficult for me to get outside of myself and see others.  There are days when that seems impossible.  The days filled with pain make it hard to see beyond the pain.

Yet, I do believe that is what we are called to do when we can and as we can.

It is something I at which I will never be perfect.  My old nature will always fight with the new one God is growing inside of me.

But I need to choose to rely on the help of the Holy Spirit.  I need to ask for new eyes with which to see others.

I’ve never understood how Christ was able to deal with the throngs of people who demanded so much from Him - who followed Him persistently, not necessarily because He was the Son of God - but because He could do something for them.  They wanted/needed something from Him - and He often got little recognition for all He did.

Can I live that way?

Will I live that way - at least to the best of my ability?

Will I make the most of what I have right now?  Of each and every opportunity?  Will I choose to see as Jesus sees?

Will I choose to see as He sees me?

I pray I will ultimately choose His heart over mine.

When He went ashore, He saw a large crowd, and felt compassion for them and healed their sick. Matthew 14:14

Digital Image by Clare Bloomfield

 © deni weber 2010-2015