"Dance With Me"

blue woman dancing

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, Hebrews 12:1

I read a Steve Jobs quote the other day.

"Life is short, don't waste it living someone else's life."

I know that I spent years and years living someone else's life.  I've tried to be what I saw in other people and what other people expected me to be.  I've lived through other people.  It was a long time before I lived MY life.

Even now, the tendency is to live someone else's life.  Well, not actually someone else's - the life that I have felt should have been mine.

Last night we watched the movie "Dance With Me."

I've always loved ballroom dancing.

I was a competitive skater and a lot of the artistic dance wasn't all that different from what ballroom dancing entails.  Watching the movie led me back to my past - and all the long-buried regrets I hold inside that I didn't live out that dream.

My illnesses didn't have a lot to do with that.  I made a lot of choices that led me down a different route.  

But this got me to thinking.  Am I living the life I have now?  Really living it?  Am I doing as much as I possibly can to actively stay on God's path for me?

I know that each of us are at different places in our illnesses.  Some of us have invisible illnesses.  Some of us can still function to a large degree.  Some of us can walk and some are in wheelchairs.  Some of us are even confined to bed.

But I wonder - are we making the most of each moment?  Are we truly living our lives or are we just marking time?

I know that these are questions I don't really even want to ask myself.  There are days I can't do anything much.  There are days I could do more - but don't because I don't want to challenge myself at all.  I know if I overdo, I suffer.  Yet, do I underdo because I am afraid of the pain that I know might  come - or just plain lazy?  

It gets easy to have others wait on me.  (Can't believe I just admitted that.)  It gets easy to do less and less.  

Even when I am stuck in my recliner due to pain, I can pray.  I can read.  I can listen. I can do my simple stretching exercises.  I can eat better.  I know God understands when I can't do anything more than just "be."  Yet, there must be a balance.

I want to live each day of my life as fully as I am able to.  God is still saying, "Dance with me!"

I guess that is the bottom line. 

Each day we have comes from God.  It is up to us to do all we can with it - within the confines of our illnesses and challenges.

Readers, keep living your life.

The one you have now.

Father God, It can be so hard to let go of dreams and hopes.  It can be devastating to see the turns our lives have taken - yet let us not give up hope.  Help us to continue to live each day in You as we dance with You in our hearts.  Amen and amen.


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