Doubts and Faith  

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I’m finding I need to rely on past teachings to make it through each day I now face.  With all  that has happened in the lives of those who take care of me, I find doubts enter my mind with an ever increasing frequency.


Knowing I need faith to get through this - more faith than I have ever had to muster before - I ordered a Bible study book on James called, Live Faithfully: A Study in the Book of James, by Lenya Heitzig and Penny Rose.  A friend had recommended the series to me.


I dutifully opened my Bible and began reading the study book.  As I began to read, I found myself besieged by doubts and tossed the book to the side.  How could I believe any of this? 


Then I remembered.


The very first tactic of Satan was doubt.


“Has God said ….?” he spoke to Eve.


His tactics haven’t changed much.


I realized that the only way to combat these doubts was to face them with faith.  But how?


I searched online for Christians and doubts.


And God led me to the words I needed to read.


Yes, our doubts are real at time.  Yes, we waver in our faith.  But God can withstand our doubtings and questions.  And doubts often lead to greater faith.


I needed that.


Suddenly verses came to mind.  I’m so grateful I followed God’s prompting to begin to memorize Scripture.


The first to come to mind was Matthew 6:27.


And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?


I’ve had several bouts of afib and odd heart rhythms - and wondered if I’d live through them.  Worry?  Or give it to God?


The second?


You have enclosed me behind and before and laid your hand upon me. Psalm 139:5


I’ve not felt safe.  How can I NOT feel safe when God has encompassed me?


And lastly - one I’ve known for years, but now read with new meaning - 


Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your paths straight.  Proverbs 3: 5-6


The new insight?  I’ve been relying on MY understanding of the situations.  I’m trying to understand what I cannot.  I’m trying to make plans, work things out - and only muddy up my mind in doing so.


My understanding is limited - and when I act from that understanding, I fail - and perhaps even get in God’s way as He works in the lives of others.


What am I getting out of all of this?


Don’t worry. It doesn’t help.


Know who holds us, encloses us, and completely surrounds us.


Trust Him - and not our own understandings.


And you know what?


It’s getting me through.  It’s hard.  Hardest thing I’ve faced since my daughter’s death.  But, God is getting me through.


I’m needing to write the words out.  Post them.  Inscribe them in my heart.  Hang on to them with all I have.


Because, it IS all I have.


And … because of who He is …


It’s more than enough.


 © deni weber 2010-2015