Fear … or Faith?

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My lesson for the week?

Waiting on God and living in the moment.

After having had my sonogram yesterday and a biopsy ordered - then looking up details for myself online and seeing the potential for something ugly growing in my body - my mind was off and running.

I wasn’t thrilled with the clinic that did the sonogram. They had little awareness of my complex medical issues and how that could interfere with the biopsy. They wanted the procedure done as soon as possible.  I felt I was on a run away train.

I panicked.

Then, I prayed.

My son made several suggestions, which I took - and I now have an appointment with a surgeon from our church tomorrow morning at 8:30.  Pretty unusual for Saturday appointments around here, so I’ve got my antenna up that something ominous might be going on.

Yet, after I panicked and then prayed - I realized I needed to wait on God for the next move.  I had calls into my doctor and to the surgeon - and neither returned the call last night.

I could feel the lesson of “wait” being put in front of me.

Then, today, the call for the appointment came through, and now, I wait again.

This time, the waiting feels different.  I’m surprisingly ok with the situation as it stands.  Yes, I’ve gone to the worst possible scenario - and also the best.  I’ve looked at God and said, “It’s gonna be interesting to see how this one plays out - how you decide it should work out.”

I’ve prayed for healing and for good results - but my underlying prayer has been that God knows best.  I’ve seen it time and again lately.  His timing is always so superior to mine.

So, I get my “self” out of the way and, as a friend of mine said, simply take the step in front of me.

For today - I find someone to get my sonogram and mammogram films so I can take them to the doctor tomorrow.  And then, I live out the rest of this day.

I don’t want to miss a moment of it.

Christ is drawing me closer and closer.  It’s almost palpable.  He’s with me.  I’m not alone.  And while there is a bit of fear inside of me - I am meeting it with faith.  Faith that God’s timing is far more amazing and beneficial than my own.

And tomorrow?

Tomorrow will take care of itself as long as I am letting God take care of me.

Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage,And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD! Ps 27:14

Father God, help us to meet our fears with faith.  Help us to know that faith will win out every time we allow it to.  Hold on to us in our fears, strengthen our faith, and teach us that your timing is everything.  Amen and amen.

 © deni weber 2010-2015