“God is Bigger Than the Boogeyman” (or If God is For Us, Who is Against Us?)

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If God is for us, who is against us? Romans 8:31

Today, the past week’s events got real.  Very real.

While I was expecting that a biopsy would be happening soon, and probably a mastectomy at some point in the future - I wasn’t expecting the call this morning saying that they wanted to do the biopsy at 10:00 on Monday, followed by the surgery itself.

Truth be told?  I started shaking.  I got real scared - real quick.

Monday?

The whole deal?

It took me a while to calm down.  I had to talk to myself quite a bit.  I talked to God.  And to the enemy.

I made a decision.

I was not going to let this recent news ruin my testimony.  I’ve come too far to turn back from following Him to allow myself not to trust the Him with the coming events. And I told the enemy just that.  “You are not going to ruin my walk, cuz my God is way bigger than you.”

Taking deep breaths, talking to my family doctor, and to several friends helped me to realize that I do not need to lose the peace that has followed me the past few days.

Lesson?

I’m not in control.

And, thank goodness for that!

So, I got up, put on my makeup, did my hair (which I get out of a box), and put my earrings on and got ready to face a day of doctor appointments and bloodwork.

And know what?

I’m singing again.  (I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart.)

The sun peaked out at me while I was getting bloodwork done and I felt it was God reassuring me.  I waved and said, “Hi, God” and smiled.

I’m finding myself joking about what is ahead.

I’ve a very odd sense of humor (and I hope no one is offended by this) and I’ve also been singing “Bye Bye Booby” out loud - to which my family rolls their eyes and calls me a dork.

I joke about how I was so thin and flat chested for years … then gained a lot of weight and “looked like a girl” for the first time.  (My sister’s line of torment for me was that I could wear a bra backwards and it would fit better!)  

Now, I’ve lost almost 70 pounds for a combinations of reasons - but the chest stayed. I looked down and said, “It figures, I get boobs for the first time in my life and now they’re gonna take one.”

And, I realize once again, that life is good.

Like the saying goes … don’t sweat the small stuff.  And it’s all small stuff in the grand scheme of things.

And I also realize that it never, ever, ever happens on my schedule.

There is a relief that comes from letting go of the outcome and letting things happen.

Yes, I pray about the results.

I know my desires.

But God, ah, this glorious God we serve knows the final outcome for me on this earth and that was decided long, long, long before I was even born.

So for today?  I’m going to trust Him.  I’m going to praise Him.  I’m going to love Him.

And I’m probably gonna keep on cracking silly jokes.

Father God, How amazing that in all of the chaos that can enter our lives, you can bring us a peace beyond all understanding.  And what an apt description that is.  It makes no sense to be feeling peace right now, but thank you, thank you, thank you, that it is so.  And Lord, please bring peace to everyone who reads these words.  Amen and amen

I want to thank each one of you that is taking this journey with me.  I know this blog has taken a number of turns during the years as life has changed around me.  This is just another bend in the road.  

I’m not sure how many more days I’ll be posting. I really don’t know what to expect after the surgery.   I’ll do the best I can and, Good Lord willing, I’ll be back after the surgery, encouraging you to keep on keeping on.  

In His Grip and with much love,

deni

VeggieTales for today: God is Bigger

Image: Phil Rood 

 © deni weber 2010-2015