If I Accept It …

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I am taking an online art/self-healing (emotionally) class and I realized something as the video went on.

I’ve not truly accepted where I am right now.

I may feel defeated by the circumstances sometimes.

But truly accepting?

The premise that was presented was that until we accept where we are in life, we stop ourselves from moving forward.

I’ve not accepted I’ve got heart issues that stop me from doing the things I want to do.

I know it’s true..

I deal with it.

But, I’ve not accepted it.

Same goes for my GI issues, my eyes, and oh-so-many other things.

I have a hard time accepting that I need so much help from others.

I want to do things myself.

Not that that is a bad thing, but I’m realizing that my non-acceptance of my circumstances, is a sign of my not truly trusting God to know what He is doing, of not accepting His plan for me.

Oh my.

That was a hard pill to swallow! (As many are!)

So, I am at the place where I need to accept all of the above, remembering that acceptance doesn’t mean giving up, feeling defeated or depressed.

It is just acknowledging what is.

It is who I am right now.

No, my illnesses don’t define the whole of me - but they are part of my reality right now.

I think I am slowly learning to be honest with myself.  

I’d not realized how much I have been holding on to the me-that-used-to-be, and using her for my measuring stick.

Letting go of that allows me to move forward without bitterness, without jealousy, without so many negative emotions that I know affect my health.

I’m not saying I am going to quit praying for healing, or that I am not going to do the very best I can with my diet, my ability to exercise, or any of the other things I want to do.

My mission, which I am focusing on - is learning to be content with where I am.  Not grudgingly - but with the acceptance of the truth that I am right where God wants me to be for now.

I pray that I can say, like Paul:

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Philippians 4:11-12


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