Joy Restored? Is It Possible?

ID-discouragement graur codrin.jpg

There hasn’t been a lot of joy in my life lately.  I guess I feel guilty about that.  Yes, I understand why I am where I am. I know God is working in my life in amazing ways.

I know I am on a different footing with God since my heart event and somehow I expected that joy would quickly follow.

Yes, there are times of contentment.  But not many moments of joy.  

That is difficult to write.

I’m learning (slowly) that when I am feeling the most down is when I need to immerse myself in Scripture.  

Lately the easiest way is using my iPhone  YouVersion app and listening.  Today, I picked up where I had left off in Psalms and started listening to Psalm 38.  I had figured that listening to five Psalms a day would get me through the book of Psalms every month.  

I was so struck by Psalms 38-42 that I listened to them over and over.  They seemed so applicable.  There were a lot of references to health in it - suffering, pain. 

If these were written by David (as most presume), I realized that he suffered, too: Physical pains, heart problems, despair, depression.

This is a man who is now called a man after God’s own heart.

Yet, David didn’t stop with talking to God about his problems.  Psalm 42:5-6a made me stop my phone and read and reread. (NLT)

Why am I so discouraged?  

Why is my heart so sad? 

I will put my hope in God!

I will praise him again -

my Savior and my God!

Now I am deeply discouraged, 

But I will remember you -

You see, I’m not all that sure why I am discouraged today.  I’m not sure why it creeps up on me this way.  I feel I should be full of joy that God kept me here.

And yet, my heart is sad.  I’m thinking a lot about the losses from this past year.

I miss my husband.  We are clearing out my mom’s apartment.  I find pictures of my brother who passed away last March. I am realizing just how fleeting is life is.  I am learning how much we leave behind - (I think that is another post.)

Yet how much good it did for me to hear the Psalmist’s words, “Now I am deeply discouraged, but I will remember You.

That gives me hope. 

I realize that my discouragement is in this moment.  It is up to me where this moment leads.

It helps me to pause and take a breath (a deep one) and realize what I need do - remember God.

I realize many of my posts are similar lately.  I feel so many of them say, in essence, keep your focus on God.

Perhaps it is because I need so many reminders myself.

Discouraged?

Sad?

Put your hope in God.

Remember Him.

And the praise will come.

Father God, I am so grateful that we can come to you openly and honestly with our discouragement and despair - that you do not condemn us for our feelings, but rather guide us to what we need do, through examples in Your word.  Help us, today, to remember You and all You have done for us.  Help us to once again find the joy in our salvation.  Amen and amen.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you. Psalm 51:12

 Digital image by graur codin 

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