Lessons Still to be Learned

I’m struggling a lot right now. Physically, emotionally, spiritually.  Once again God has brought almost to a complete stop. It’s challenging to say the least.

I’ve written little, questioned more, and have been back in ‘seeker’ mode. I was trying to find a mission statement I had written for myself years ago … I felt it was something I needed to find. Part of the “why I am here” thing.

I couldn’t find it.

But, I did find this devotional, written three years ago, during my search. Oddly enough, I was in a very similar place health-wise and writing-wise.  I’m grateful God led me to this particular devotional as it contains much that I need right now.

I do few repostings lately, but I wanted to share this one with all of you.

Dad

*********************************************************

The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms . . .Deuteronomy 33:27

I wasn’t going to write a devotional today – I’ve been battling some new symptoms that are pretty disabling and between an ER visit, multiple doctor visits, and just plain not feeling well, writing has been a challenge.

Three years ago, at the age of 92, my dad died. Today would have been his 95th birthday.  I know that many of us who have lost parents tend to realize how much of an impact they had on our lives after they are gone.

You might wonder why I’m writing about him here.  You see, it wasn’t until my illnesses became severe that I understood what my dad dealt with for more years than I can remember.  The reason I didn’t know before?  He never complained.

He dealt with hearing loss, severe arthritis, spondylosis that almost completely pinched his spinal cord, and most likely, ankylosing spondylitis.  He was in daily, debilitating pain, yet never said a word. He did what he could for as long as he could.  He was my example for “keep on keeping on.”

Even when he was ushering in church from his scooter, he was smiling and making people laugh.

His motto? “There’s a reason the good Lord is keeping me here.”

I’m realizing more and more how many lessons he was teaching me during the last years of his life.  I doubt if he would acknowledge any of these if he were still alive.  He lived a very humble life – never taking credit for anything he did. 

Yet – he taught me:

     It’s all in God’s timing.

     It is possible to smile when you are in pain.

     You don’t have to moan and groan and complain.

     Look for creative ways to continue to serve God.  

     He’ll show you.

     Live every day of your life with love.

     Live to set an example.

     Tell those you love that you love them while can.

     Trust God to do what’s right.

     Illness is not the end of everything.  

     Sometimes it’s a beginning.

     Your life is an example to others.  

     You never know who is watching and learning.

     Always do what’s right – even when no one is watching.

     Especially when no one is watching.

Today, as I struggle with new challenges, I sit in my dad’s recliner.  Yesterday my doctor told me sleeping in a recliner will be easier on my body.  The reason my dad had a recliner?  There were many days he couldn’t sleep in bed.  Ironic.

I feel as if my dad’s arms are enfolding me.  There is such a comfort here.

It reminds me that God’s arms are always around me, too.  God has many lessons to teach me – and it’s my belief that I am here as an example for those around me – just the same way my Father was.  It is my fondest hope and prayer that I can leave a legacy just as my father did before me. 

I know I am still learning many of these lessons. For me it’s a steep learning curve. I’ve a long way to go. But thank to my dad, I know they are lessons that can be learned.

So – Dad – thanks for all you left your family.  You did more than you know, just by  being you.

And God – thanks for allowing me to be his daughter  …

and Yours.



 © deni weber 2010-2015