Lonely Places

Praying Knees.jpg

But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.  Luke 5:16

I think the loneliest “place” for me is during the times I awaken with my heart beating irregularly.

My episodes usually come in the early morning before anyone in the household is awake.

I realize, now, how blessed I was to have a husband who didn’t care when I awakened him, or why.  Sometimes just being held helped calm my heart back to a steady beat.  He had created a playlist for me on his iPhone that had music that seemed to calm my heart.  He patiently listened to my fears and helped me talk through whether or not it was time to seek help.

All that is gone now.

I can’t bring myself to listen to the playlist, as I know he died while his favorite song was playing.

Over a year - and still too much grief.

So now - when I am awakened with arrhythmias, I miss those days of comfort.

I feel alone.

Lonely.

Yet, I am now realizing this particular lonely place is the perfect time and place for me to withdraw in prayer.

I’ve begun to wonder if that is what part of chronic illness is about.

They can be lonely illnesses.

We can feel isolated.  Lost.  

Lonely.

This morning, it helped me so much to have that verse float to the surface.

Jesus withdrew to lonely places - to be alone - to pray.

In a very odd way, my challenges have opened the door to a place of prayer.

I’d not be praying as much, seeking God as much, or running to Him for comfort, if these illnesses I face were not in my life.

Do I like them?

No - not really.  I’m not at the place where I would choose them.  But I am trying to make friends with them as best I can.

They afford me opportunities I could find in no other way.

So, I will make the most of those lonely places

and pray.

What I need to remember?

It was the place that was lonely.

Yet Christ was never truly alone.

His Father was always there.

Lord Jesus, Thank you that you listen to us anytime - anywhere.  Help us, in those dark and lonely moments, to seek the very same thing you sought - communion with our Heavenly Father. Amen and amen

 © deni weber 2010-2015