One of a Kind

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So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.Genesis 1:27  

I want to paint. 

No, I don’t mean that I’d like to know how to paint, I want to be painting right now.  I want to wake up first thing in the morning, grab my watercolors and start painting.

I’ve even started taking a free online class.

I have wondered how in the world God can use this obsession.  

Yesterday, for the online class, the assignment was to start an art journal.  We started by taking a page and writing down our negative thoughts.  The things we say to ourselves about ourselves and about our art.

Feeling a bit silly, I started writing.

And, oh my, the words that eventually poured out.  

Things like:

“I do everything wrong.”

“I will have failed in this life.”

“I am not enough.”

“I am a fraud.”

“I will die without having really lived my life.”

“I’ll never change.”

I could easily have filled more than one page.

I don’t know if this was a vulnerable moment as my mom goes into hospice care and I’m closely viewing my own mortality, or if this was just God’s way of getting another yucky splinter out of my soul - but I was completely taken aback by the words that flowed out of my pen. 

The cool thing about the assignment?  

We get to take gesso (a thick white paint) and cover up all those words.  We can make them disappear completely - wiping them out of existence.   Then, we begin to paint anew on that transformed background.

But only after we look closely at the words and figure out what they are truly saying about us and forgive ourselves for those words.

My words say that I still  think God made a mistake with me somehow.  That I can’t trust His plan for me. I’m still comparing.  Envying others.

Once I realized that, everything changed.  It tied in with yesterday’s post.  God doesn’t make junk. 

I asked forgiveness for those thoughts - those lies I told myself. I forgave myself for believing those lies.  

And I began to cover up the words, completely wiping them away.

And as I did, I realized that as long as I am in His hands - and willing … malleable … , He can begin the take the white gesso of His love and create a brand new page to paint on.

And the painting will be perfect.

A masterpiece.

The masterpiece that is me.

Are there lies you are believing about yourself?  Do you feel you can never change?  Maybe it’s time to get rid of the lies - and begin to learn the truth of who you really are.  

His one-of-a-kind glorious masterpiece.

Believe it.


 © deni weber 2010-2015