One of Those Days

Did you ever have one of those days?

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One of those really bad days? (So bad that I didn’t even realize no devotional went out yesterday.  I apologize for that.)

The kind that leaves you curled up, head down, and wanting to cry simply because life has gotten to be too much for you?

I’m pretty sure most (if not all) of you have.

Yesterday was one of those days for me.

Healthwise, it wasn’t terrible.  I’m becoming less and less mobile, but it wasn’t really about that. 

Somehow my daughter jammed her sharp lead pencil into the palm of her hand.

My first thought …?

When was her last tetanus shot?

Not terribly surprisingly, I couldn’t remember.

So I headed to where I thought her shot record was.

It wasn’t there.

I searched high and low as best I could. I had my kids help me look.  Nope.

I called the doctor’s office and was told her last shot was in 2002.

I knew that was wrong.  We keep her up to date on her shots.

I just didn’t know the date of her last tetanus shot.

So, I looked some more.

I realized how badly my filing system (as I jokingly call it) has fallen apart.

I didn’t know where anything was.

Oh, and while I was looking - I should keep an eye out for my tax paperwork - right?

Well, let’s say I looked as long as I could.

The more I looked, the more I realized how little I’ve done to keep track of things.

I felt defeated.

Head down at the kitchen table, I wanted to cry.  But I didn’t.  I was too tired to even cry.

The emotions followed me into this morning.

“What do you want from me, God?” I asked. "I’ve given up all that I know how to give up.  There is nothing left inside of me.  What do you require of me?”

I turned to My Utmost For His Highest.  Chamber’s referenced a verse in the book of Micah.  

I’d been wanting to read Micah - so I picked up my Bible and began to read.

There in verse 8 of Chapter 6, I read:

“He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness and to walk humbly with your God.”

Well, I sure felt humbled by the days events.  Nothing to be prideful of here. But I sure didn’t feel kind inside.  Especially toward myself.

I kept reading.

In verse 8 of Chapter 7,I found:

Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light for me.

What encouragement.

Yes, I hit bottom yesterday.  I no doubt will again.

But, knowing God is with me, I will rise up again.  I will continue to look for the light in the times that seem consumed by darkness.

I think that is the ‘secret.’

When we fall.

Get back up.

When we are in darkness.

Wait for the light that is promised to come.

For me personally, it was a call to begin to reorder many parts of my life that have gone neglected since my husband died.  There are pieces I need to pick up.  Things I need to do - maybe 5 minutes at a time.

But with God’s help, they will get done.




 © deni weber 2010-2015