“Please Don’t Leave Me to Myself”

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I’ve much time for introspection right now.  In some ways, I think, too much. Yet, I’m realizing that with as little as I’m able to do, it is the best use of my time. I’m realizing how short life really is, and it is my intention to make the best use of the time that I can.

I’m re-reading books that spoke to me in the past.  “Pursue The Intentional life” is speaking loudly to me.  What I realize as I read is that I cannot possibly go though all I have without God.  Even thinking about it is a scary thought to me.

Living this life without God?

I’ve no idea how that would or could happen.  I’d have given up long ago.

“Please don’t leave me to myself” is becoming my most oft uttered prayer.

I feel so vulnerable, so needy, unable to care for myself. 

I can see so starkly where I would be without Him.  I know that sometimes I feel alone, but as I journal - I write to Him.  I know He is there, even if don’t feel His presence.

So, I read.  I write as I can. And, I think - trying to focus my thoughts on the good stuff.

I read an interesting challenge on Ann Voscamp’s blog - 1,000 gratitudes written in a month.  I’m late to the game, as she began in November, but I’ve jumped on the bandwagon (crawled on???) and have started writing thirty-three things a day.  

And you know what?

They are surprisingly easy to find, and I feel so much better as I write them down.

And one of the most important realizations has been that even as I pray “Please don’t leave me to myself,” that is something He will never, ever do.

And the lovely part, dear readers?  

He will do the same for you.

 © deni weber 2010-2015