Pray ... and Let Go

As I struggle with a new med and am wondering if it is the reason today is such a bad day - I realize this "rerun" fits quite well.  Hope it speaks to you as much as it does to me.

And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love. 2 John 1:6

I am learning I have a problem with obedience.  My eye surgery has required me to use drops in my eyes that are having some side effects I really don’t like.  They have affected my autonomic nervous system (heart rate, “thermometer”, feelings of anxiety) and they have affected me emotionally.  I knew that prednisone medications did this to me, but didn’t dream the drops would do the same.  

So, I called my doctor to explain the side effects, expecting him to take me off the drops early.  

Nope.

His response?  You don’t want to risk messing up your eye surgery.

Immediately my mind became filled with “buts” … but I’m having to rest too much, I don’t like the feelings in my heart, I’m so anxious …  I ….

His response again.

Stay on the drops.

So, grudgingly I am – though I have to admit to being tempted to simply stop them.

I begin to wonder – how often do I think I know better than the doctor?  (Ok, sometimes we do!)  It also caused me to wonder how often I think I know better than God.  I’d like to say this is just an isolated incident – but it’s not.  I often think I have the answer without even stopping to pray.  I just act – and go merrily on way – until something goes wrong.  Then I look back and wonder – how did that happen?

Most of the time it’s because I made it happen.  Because I think I know best.

I do more than I should, or less than I should (mostly exercise), deviate from my diet – and then complain that I don’t feel well!  I let myself stress and worry over things I cannot control.  I leave prayer till the last minute – instead of starting with it.

God tells us how important it is to be obedient – and that it is for our own good.  You’d think it would have sunk in by now!

I still don’t want to take those drops.  But I will.  (Which reminds me of the story of the little girl whose mommy told her to sit down and the girl adamantly refused to do so.  Her mother came over and sat her down in the chair.  Glaring at her mom she muttered, “I may be sitting down on the outside, but I’m standing up on the inside!”)

I so need to learn to pray first– and let go of the outcome.  Pray – and let go, then take the next step in obedience to God and His word.  (And this is certainly a “pray and let go” day.)

Is there something in your life that you need to pray about – then let go of?  

If you are at all like me – there just might be.

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