Renewed

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Today’s Verse:

Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. 2 Corinthians 4:16

I’m a skeptic - a critical person.

I think part of that has been honed by my chosen profession as a psychologist. Somehow, when you become immersed in a science-based field, you learn to look critically at things.  You identify flaws in reasoning.  You learn to tease apart complex situations. You become a critical thinker.

You learn that if you are sitting in front of a married couple you will hear two different stories, and you try to find the third story - the truth in what is happening. 

Searching out the truth can be a good thing.  

But sometimes, it can lead you down a judgmental path.  

It’s easy for me to look at someone, listen to their story, and think, “Well, if they only did this, things would be better for them.”

It happens for me in the spiritual realm as well.

I can look at someone and what they are struggling with - especially if it’s something I don’t deal with, and be critical.  Judgmental.

And God is working with me on this.

I’m learning that instead of being critical - people need my compassion.  I need to pray for them instead of judging where they are.

I’m also like this with myself.

When I make a mistake (and I make plenty of them!), I’m the first to find a big stick and start whomping on myself.

One of the verses that keeps coming up on my 60/60 program is about simply realizing where you have messed up.  Asking forgiveness - and putting it behind you.

I carry yesterday into today.  I carry what happened five years ago with me. I can ruin “now” by living in “then.”

Why is it so hard to let the past stay in the past?

Why is it so hard to forgive ourselves?  Perhaps even harder than forgiving others?

It’s hard to dismantle this wall.  The “me” that I pretend to be - and the me that actually lives inside this challenged body are quite different. 

And God, true to His word, is revealing all these icky parts of me, telling me it is ok, and that I can be different with His help.

Renewed.  Made new over and over and over again.

Every day.

Today’s Prayer:

Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalm 51:10

 © deni weber 2010-2015