The First Born Child of Grace

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Last time I wrote about the challenge of living in the moment.

To be honest, it’s more difficult than I thought it would be.

I keep catching myself drifting (or crashing) into the future.

Or, I find myself thinking about the past: things I would have done differently, things I regret, and well … just things.

Over and over, I have to bring myself back to now.

I’ve taken to asking God to forgive me for trying to live in any other moment than the one He has given me and to help me focus on what is happening now.

I get kind of silly about it.

I make myself think about the feelings of my fingers typing on the keyboard - pushing the keys and listening to the fake keyboard clatter.  I thank Him that I am able to type and use my fingers.

Sometimes, when my body pains are bad, I focus on my breathing.  I pay attention to each breath as it rhythmically moves my chest up and down.  I feel the air filling my lungs and notice the swelling of my rib cage.  I breathe out as deeply as I can, knowing it will help my COPD to fully empty my lungs.

I pay attention to sounds and movements in my environment.

Now doesn’t happen for very long.

One moment flows so quickly into the next.

I’ve realized I don’t want to miss any of the moments by being lost in the past or fearing the future - both of which I do quite well.

It’s funny how things calm down when I practice living in the now - looking to Him - thanking Him for the moment - for the sounds, for the feelings, for the experience.  I wonder how many moments of my life I’ve missed being grateful for, simply because I’ve not been paying attention.

I’m finding there is always something to be grateful for.

I think of a quote by Max Lucado (who is my favorite author at the moment):

Gratitude is the first-born child of grace.

So much grace has been given to us.

Once that realization truly hit home for me, I realized I needed to be on the lookout for all the things I can be grateful for, in the moment.

Yes, I’m grateful for the gifts of the past.

Yes, I’m grateful for my future with God.

Yet, the moments of gratitude that seem to bring me the most peace right now are those that I am finding right now.

And right now, I am grateful I am able to write.

I’m grateful God opened the opportunity for this blog.

And I’m grateful that He can use my words to touch the heart of another.

I’m grateful you are reading this,

right now.

Father God, thank you for the many blessings to be found in the present moment.  Yes, there may be many, many things going wrong right now, but there is always something we can be grateful for. Help us to live, really truly live now.  Because it’s the only moment in which we can truly live.  Amen and amen.

 © deni weber 2010-2015