The Growing Place

plant growing in gravel.jpg

“Hear then the parable of the sower: When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what has been sown in his heart. This is what was sown along the path. 20 As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy, yet he has no root in himself, but endures for a while, and when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately he falls away. As for what was sown among thorns, this is the one who hears the word, but the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and it proves unfruitful. As for what was sown on good soil, this is the one who hears the word and understands it. He indeed bears fruit and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.” Matthew 13:18-23

Last night found me in the emergency room.

Again.  

This is the third time since my heart-changing episode.

I had some mild chest symptoms.  Dizziness. Nausea.  Extreme thrist. Things that didn’t really make sense.  

The ER doc said it was the chest/heart symptoms that  concerned him the most.

Me, too.

My son and I (God bless him!) were there for hours.  There had been car crashes and the ER was overrun with excess from another hospital.

There was a lot of waiting involved - and I don’t wait well.

I want answers.  Now, if not sooner.

Then I realized exactly where I was.

I was in the place of uncertainty.

I’ve been there before.  Many times I’ll no doubt be there again.

I don’t like it one bit.

Yet, this time, something felt different.

This time, I was able to see that God had me in a very special place.

He had me in the place where faith grows.

Faith - at least my faith - doesn’t seem to grow when my future seems certain.

It doesn’t seem to grow if I am guaranteed good results or that things will go the way I plan.

This place - this place of uncertainty - is where God stretches our faith. Grows our faith.  Right here.  Right now.

I realize it is time to make a choice - in this very moment.

Am I going to believe, truly believe, that no matter what the outcome, God has it covered?  That it is all in His plan and I can trust Him?

Can I believe that no matter what words flow forth from the mouth the doctor that I am just where I should be?  That God is loving and guiding me.  And teaching me?

I realize, too, it’s not a once and for all thing.  I’ve yet to get to the place where I am nonplussed with a crisis.  Perhaps, one day, I will be - as I know that place of complete trust is where God desires me to be.

But for now, I see these as learning places.  Places that will grow my faith in Him, as time after time, He takes care of me.

Maybe not in the way I want.  Maybe not in the way I expected.

But in a way that will ultimately bring glory to Him.

This growing place?

It’s hard.  I know you all know that.  Those of us with chronic illnesses? We live in such challenging circumstances.  In that we are all alike.

Our symptoms may differ.  Our paths may take completely different turns.

Yet, for all of us?

We live in the growing place.

What will you grow there today?

I pray it will be faith.

But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, having put on the breastplate of faith and love, and for a helmet the hope of salvation.  1 Thessalonians 5:8

(My heart results came back clean.  However the dizziness issue remains unresolved and a few other issues have popped up.  Seeing another doc this week that might have input.)

Photo by freedigital photos.com: Sritangphoto

 © deni weber 2010-2015