Weak but Never Alone

Praying Knees.jpg

In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. Romans:26-27

Today is a clinging to faith day.  I can pretty much be ready for my body to be unhappy for a day or two after I do anything out of the ordinary.  So - today I deal with erratic heart beats.

It's so easy to let faith fly out the window on days like today.  I sometimes wonder why I have such good days - mediocre days - and then days like today.

There is something about my erratic heart beats - extra beats and skipped beats - not really atrial fibrillation, but certainly not normal - that create anxiety in me.  I do think it has to do with the beats themselves, as I don't always feel anxious - just kind of wanting to jump out of my skin.

So, for today, I listen to my own words - reread the words I have written in the past - and simply rest.

I lie back in my recliner, take my heart meds, and listen to music that is soothing and calming.

I pray.

I talk to myself over and over.

The doctor has said my heart is strong.

The beats are from adrenaline rushes that can have an effect after the adrenaline buffer wears off.  I need simply be still for a while.

Yes.

After all the activity, I need to recenter myself in God.

How easy it is for me to be caught up in the flashy world I found myself in the past weekend.  How easy for me to take my eyes off of God.

My erratic heart beats are my reminder of how dependent, completely and utterly dependent I am on Him.  Yet, He is always here with me.

I sometimes feel I let God down - that my faith isn't strong enough - when I face days like today.  

These are the times I must trust that He is looking at me with compassion.  He knows all my weaknesses.  He knows who I am, better than I do.  And He knows what I need.

I hear that small, quiet voice.

"Be still and know that I am God.

So for today, I quiet myself and know that He is God.

And that is more than enough for today.

I may be weak.  But I am never alone.

And neither, dear reader, are you.

Father God, Thank you for your loving kindness, your compassion on those days when our weaknesses come to the foreground. Help us to know your power on days like today. Help us to be assured that you love us beyond measure and care for us in our weaknesses. Amen and Amen.

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