When Fear Comes to Call

fear not cross.gif

I’m realizing that my battle with fear is not yet over.

Funny how I can be so sure I am free from fear - yet soon, I find it knocking on my door again.

I’ve been talking to the Lord about my fears lately.  Finding verses to read and recite. 

It’s no huge secret to those of you who have been reading my blog for any length of time, that my heart is the biggest source of my fear.

Even though God chose to keep me here with the cardiac arrest event, I still get frightened when my heart starts banging around in my chest.

I stop what I’m doing.

I lie down.

My world focuses on those irregular beats.

Even though I’m on a heart monitor - it’s hard to get away from those feelings that hit almost before I have a chance to think. 

I get scared.

I am finding I am so blessed by my iPhone’s Bible app.  I figured out I can listen to Scripture whenever I choose.  And lately, listening is more soothing than reading.

I’ve started “listening” my way through Psalms, and today the verse I needed jumped out at me.  I’ve been listening to the NLT translation lately, and with the slightly different wording, I become aware of different things.

I prayed to the Lord, and He answered me.  He freed me from all my fears. Psalm 33:4

You see, sometimes, I forget to pray.  I let the fear paralyze me.  In the “flight or flight” theory terminology … I freeze.

Kinda like a deer in the headlights of a car.

My heart skips beats - and fear comes.

I’m learning to talk back to the fear.

I tell it that God has delivered me from this fear already.  I do as Jehoshaphat in 2 Chronicles.

“Then Jehoshaphat was afraid and set his face to seek God.”

Over and over, Scripture tells that the answer to our fear is  faith.

It doesn’t say we will never be afraid.  It says that God is the one who will deal with it when we hand it over to Him and ask for help.

And even though my head knows this, my heart forgets it at times.

That verse felt like a life preserver thrown to me today.

I am so awed by God.

Always meeting us right where we are -  if we only choose to turn to Him and look.

 © deni weber 2010-2015