Revisiting: When Things Get Better … For Someone Else

envy

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Philippians 4:12

Yesterday, I talked to a friend that I'd not heard from in years.  She had previously been diagnosed with cancer and the prognosis hadn't looked good for her.  She happily shared the news that she is doing better than she has for a long time.  "They didn't expect me to live this long," she confided. "Every day is a gift!"

I was happy for her.  She's a lovely gal.

Yet, this tiny spark of envy welled up inside of me.  I know I will be heading into a more difficult time of year.  My body doesn't do well with the colder weather.  For me, cold is anything below 65 degrees. Every year the winter gets harder.  There is more pain, more breathing difficulties. Things will be getting harder for me.

I realize that, unlike Paul, I am not truly content with where I am.  

This incident pointed out to me that there are still times when I'd rather be living my life, my way.

How discouraging this life with chronic illness can be! 

Yet, I can't let the discouragement win.  None of us can.

That journey to contentment is a hard road.  Who readily wants to accept limitations? Who wouldn't want to be better?

How hard it is to trust that we are right where we are supposed to be.

I guess I can honestly say that I am content - most of the time.  

Many new doors have opened for me.  I'm writing.  Doing a bit of painting.  I do home-based learning with my adopted children.

Yet, there are still those moments.

All I can do is take those moments to God.  I sit quietly with Him and acknowledge the hurt and the pain.  I seek comfort in His word and His presence.  

I realize that even Jesus acknowledged His pain as He prayed in the Garden of Gethsename.  

Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” Matthew 26:39

Amen and amen.

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