Whose Schedule Are We On?


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"But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, You are my God. My times are in your hands.” Psalm 31:14-15a. 

I get frustrated.

A lot.

And I know that frustration is nothing more than disguised, low level anger.

I don’t like to think I’m like that - but I am.

I have this neat little daily schedule I try to stick to.

Try is the operative word.

Even on the “good” days, some start out running full tilt and I get behind where I want to be.

It was about 10:00 in the morning and things just weren’t happening like I wanted them to.  We homeschool and so much seems to depend on our mornings. As usual, frustration raised it’s ugly head.

I decided take a deep breath and journal:

Lord, I feel like my day is gone before it’s started.  I’ll never catch up.  

Then it struck me.

My day. 

 It’s not “my day,” is it?  I gave all things  over to You.  It’s Your day and Your day is just beginning.  Help me to let go and follow your path for the day.

Lead me … guide me.  Help me to let go and truly let it be Your day.

Frustration.  Over life not following my agenda.

Hmmmm.

So, when I am feeling frustrated, I am looking at what I need and what I want.  My own expectations of how things “should” be.

I need to stop and ask what you need or want out of that situation.

That feels like such a no-brainer.  Why did it take me so long to figure this out?

All those years of “I’ll do it my way, thank you very much.”

Ouch.

It’s kind of like what I realized with my “stuff.”  None of it ever truly belonged to me.  Its always all belonged to  You.

I have acted as if time was “mine.”

I’ve made plans that were never meant to work.

What a waste of time and effort.

Lord, forgive me for planning without You.

This “Let Go and Let God” thing is growing deeper and deeper in my life.

I’m glad.


 © deni weber 2010-2015